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When something is in balance, it requires some amount of effort to get it out of balance. If you see balanced scales that become unbalanced, it is usually because weight was added to one side of the scales. An example of that is when we allow the baggage from the past to add weight to our side of the relationship creating an imbalance. Notice that it requires effort on our part to cause our relationship to become unbalanced.
Hurting people hurt people.
Sometimes we try to keep our baggage firmly in place to make sure that our current relationship stays all jacked up, out of balance, and crazy. We make sure that we remember those hurt feelings whether the other person did it intentionally or not.
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. (1 Peter 3:9)
We use lines such as:
– You’re just like your Dad or you’re just like your Mom…
– How many times have you been married anyway?
– I just don’t know if I like you or not
– It just doesn’t seem like you love me anymore
Foolish decisions overcome by forgiveness and determination.
I knew a guy once who did something foolish. He had an illicit love affair, and a child was born. Despite his remorse, the marriage appeared to be over. His wife had to make a decision whether she was in or out. She knew that to choose to forgive, and she had to stop keeping track of every negative thing. She decided, “I’m not done!” She began giving him a little “something” for breakfast every day to ensure that, by lunchtime, he wouldn’t be hungry for “anything else”. This guy got to the point where he couldn’t keep up with his wife. He got radically saved, and everything worked out.
The enemy always wants us to think that someone else is more attractive.
This other person doesn’t know any of our problems. All they know is that you’re this corporate executive guy or girl who doesn’t seem to have any problems (at work). So we jump from relationship to relationship with the consistent factor being US!
Our thoughts drive our actions.
If we have bad fruit, we have a bad root. We need to deal with that and think about what we’re thinking about because our thoughts drive our actions.
Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 paraphrased)
Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and remember what is good.
Let’s choose to remember the things of good report, the good things about others in our life. Let’s focus on pure and noble things. We choose what we think about and what we focus on is where our actions are directed. So focus on your spouse, focus on positive things, let go of the past and let’s get our relationships in balance!
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