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The sexual relationship between husband and wife is important, but so often offense can get in the way. We as men can offend a woman by what we say, even though we didn’t mean it that way. We forget to flirt, we can be blunt, then before we know it, she’s sleeping on a quarter of an inch of mattress on the far side of the bed.
The Woman’s Point of View
Nicole has explained the woman’s point of view. For example, she will go for a motorcycle ride with me, then we get home, she takes care of me, does the laundry, takes care of the kids and I may not get up to help her, so her mind is just focused with all that she does for me. Then we get into bed, and I give her a line like, “Hey Baby, I want to see something naked.” (Guys this is the worst line ever.) And I create the wrong kind of tension in the marriage. Instead of positive sexual tension that comes from flirting and taking care of each other, we can grow distant.
The Small Things Count
So one morning, she asks me to have coffee on the back deck. I’m thinking it’s 40 degrees outside! But she walks by me with her little walk, and I am persuaded. I decide love will keep us warm! So we sit outside under a blanket, and we have fun. She comments on how beautiful a day it is and we flirt. I want to flirt with her because I want to invest my time with her.
Flirting is an Investment
When I’m old, I don’t want to be going through 40 different women trying to find one who will help me up the stairs. We need to invest in this person NOW and keep that love language going. I’ve learned that as soon as church is over, and we get home, to go up to Nicole and say, “Wouldn’t more time on the deck be nice?” and she begins to melt like a puddle on the floor (those are her words, not mine).
Sexual connection maintains the status of “the two become one”.
Sexual connection is so important because it’s intimacy. Why does the Bible say that we’re not supposed to have sex before marriage? When we have intimacy with another person, we tie our souls together. When we don’t connect sexually, we untie our souls and disconnect from one another. The idea of sexual relations within marriage is “the two become one.” When we don’t connect, we don’t feel like one anymore. We feel like two which leaves us open to become one with somebody else.
Invest in what you have right now!
We need to invest in the person who is in our life right now. We need to learn their love language, give them our time, care about what they care about, flirt and keep the sexual connection.
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