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My Dad only had one chance to be a father and he didn’t receive any training. Like all father’s he figured it out as he went along. When I was growing up, my Dad and brother butted heads while I was the people pleaser. So my Dad always told my brother that he should be more like me. That spirit of comparison created division between me and my brother. It’s already tough being a kid, but it’s even harder when parents are comparing them to each other.
What We Don’t Like From Our Past Can Carry Over Into Our Future
When my son Austin was growing up he was a sensitive kid. If I looked at him cross-eyed he was repentant! When I looked at Ashtyn, if I told her (and I say this jokingly), “I could have you arrested for assault for doing that!” Her strong-willed little personality might turn around and say, “Go ahead! Call the Po-Po!” As her disciplinarian father I then want to say, “Now Ashtyn, you need to be more like your, uh, your Lord Jesus.” I bite my tongue and I choose to speak into her life constructively. I tell her, “You’re going to be everything God called you to be. You’re a strong woman and God can use that as long as we can keep you out of prison.” Ok so I don’t REALLY say that last part, but you get the idea.
The Spirit Of Comparison Labels And Limits Us
I do not want either of my kids living under the spirit of comparison because that limits them. Likewise I will not allow myself or my wife to compare ourselves either. I have to guard my mouth to ensure I don’t invite – – even accidentally – – the spirit of comparison into our family. I do NOT want to pass that legacy on to my kids.
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12)
Use Celebration To Squash Comparison
Are you a moped?* That’s awesome! Celebrate that! If I compared myself to my friend Joel Osteen, I might be dissatisfied with what I see. So let me offer this perspective, Joel was invited to go have breakfast at the Vatican with the Pope. Joel asked me to cover him in New York while he’s on this trip. So I celebrate him! I tell everyone I see that my buddy Joel is having breakfast with the Pope. It doesn’t make me little because he’s big. When David killed 10,000, Saul should have celebrated HIM! Joel and I are genuinely friends and we speak encouragement and truth into each other’s lives. Are you doing that for someone today?
