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God doesn’t want 50% of all marriages to end in divorce. God knows that if we are happy at home, we won’t be running around unfulfilled and won’t be as apt to do dumb stuff. Some of you are thinking, “Oh Man, I’ve been a bad spouse. Can I ever get him/her back?” God is healing marriages right now as you read. Just invite the Lord into your relationship/marriage and spice it up like never before.

God is into you and your mate being satisfied, healed, and whole. In order to do this, we can’t just be our usual selves, beat up from our obligations, we have to renew our mind. If we are going to do things right in our marriage, we have to think differently. We have to do it God’s way.

Competitive Attitudes Create Division In Marriage

One thing we cannot allow in the middle of our relationship is competition. There was a situation where Nicole, my wife, walked by and saw me having a meeting with a group of people who she is responsible for and whom she mentors.

This situation could have worked out several ways when we finally got around to discussing it.

Examples Of How The Other Person Might Be Thinking

A. She could have gotten offended and competitive and started thinking, “What’s he holding that meeting for? He shouldn’t be meeting with my people!”

B. She could have felt bad that she was failing me and was upset that I was having to pick up where she was thinking she was falling short

C. I could have had the attitude, “I started this church, I can meet with whoever I want!”

D. I could have thought, “I’m helping her out because she has so much going on, so I’ll just talk to
these folks for a few minutes.”

Learn What’s Behind Door #1

We can have a freight train of thoughts and feelings that get us aggravated at each other. This happens because we don’t understand what’s going on behind the door of the other person’s mind.

Dig Deep Into The problem, Not Just The Symptom

When Nicole and I talked about this she said that she had to dig deep to realize that she was hurt because she’s a pleaser and didn’t want me to have to do what she is supposed to do. Sometimes when our thoughts and emotions are out of control, we have to just speak out loud in order to stop the madness.

What Are We Telling Ourselves?

I’d like to encourage you today to consider what you are saying to yourself. We all have voices in our head that either defeat or strengthen us. It’s our choice. We choose what we think. Our thoughts lead to our emotions which drive our behavior. Choose wisely if you want to be part of the solution. Join me in raising that 50% marriage success rate to 100%. Let’s spice it up in the marriage bed, remove the competition and start trying to understand what’s behind the door to our spouse’s mind.

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David Crank

Author David Crank

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